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I hate my best friend because she is fat and jiggly – it’s so embarrassing

Q: “Do you like your best friend?”
A: “I hate her.”
Q: “Did you have a falling out?”
A: “No  – she’s always been overweight, like the whole time I’ve known her and she is so jiggly, it’s embarrassing.”

Imagine a world where we judged everyone on looks – no matter who they are and how long we’ve known them.

It would be weird wouldn’t it?

We do initially make judgements about people who we haven’t met, based on their looks, it’s a primal thing. We don’t know anything about them and the way they look is the first clue that we have about who they are and what they are all about.

But then once we know people – this changes. We have a tonne of other information about who they are – information that is way more important than how they look. We get to know who they are, how they make us feel, what they are up to, what their talents and traits are, what they stand for and what they add to our lives. Your family, your friends, your colleagues – when someone asks about them, what do you say? I would imagine you tell people how funny they are, how kind they are, how smart they are, what a loyal friend they are, how driven they are or what they are up to in their lives.

But instead let’s imagine a world where the conversation went more like this:

Q: “Do you like your mum?”
A: “Not at all.”
Q: “Why what happened?”
A: “Well, her thighs are really big and her tummy is fat.”

Q: “Do you like your brother?”
A: “Not really.”
Q: “Was he mean to you growing up?”
A: “No – he was fine but he is pretty short and stumpy.”

Q: “Do you like your business partner?”
A: “Nah.”
Q: “Why not – isn’t it working out?”
A: “He is great at what he does – but he is going bald and has a huge nose.”

We would be scratching our heads if people answered like this. I imagine we would think that the person giving these answers is bizarre, shallow and messed up in the head. What are they doing walking around judging people that they know so well and love by their looks alone? Is that really all they can come up with? What is wrong with this person?!

We all get that.. don’t we?

So why doesn’t the same logic apply to ourselves? Why doesn’t the same logic apply to our bodies?

I hear this conversation…. all the time:

Q: “Do you like your body?”
A: “I hate it.”
Q: “Why not – isn’t it working?”
A: “It works fine – but it’s fat and disgusting.”

Q: “Do you like your body?”
A: “Not really.”
Q: “Why not – is it sick?”
A: “No I’m not sick – but my butt has cellulite and my legs are short and wide.”

Q: “Do you like your body?”
A: “Not at all.”
Q: “What’s wrong with it?”
A: “It is really jiggly, especially my stomach and my skin is so white.”

And this is totally normal. We don’t scratch our heads when we hear conversations like this. We don’t think this person is bizarre, shallow or messed up in the head. We nod along and go on to talk about what is ‘wrong’ with the way our body looks too.

We are totally comfortable judging our bodies purely on looks, comparing them to visions of ‘perfection’ from the media and listening to each other complain about the way our bodies looks.

But what are we doing walking around judging our bodies that we know so well and that literally make everyday of our lives possible on looks alone? Is that really all we can come up with? What is wrong with us?

And trust me – I get it. I do it too.

But I catch myself when I do. I try to call myself out on it. I don’t let it go un-noticed.

Should we blame the media? Our culture? Our mothers? The food companies? Photoshop? Who knows, but what we do know is that change starts in our own backyard.

What we could do is notice and to become aware of what we say and think about our bodies.

What we could do is decide whether or not our amazing bodies, that we couldn’t live without, deserve more than to be judged purely by their looks alone.

We could think about the pictures in the media that we compare our bodies to and decide if we want to buy into that unrealistic vision.

We could decide to show our bodies the same respect we show other people that we love and need in our lives.

We could try to respect and love our bodies for everything that they do for us, every single day.

Because no one.. no one.. does as much for you as your body does.

What do you think?

What are you waiting for?

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Jacquie Sharples is a fitness and wellbeing coach and author of ‘If your body could talk’. She wants you to treat yourself and your body with the respect that you both deserve 🙂

Download the first 50 pages of Jacquie’s book If Your Body Could Talk by joining our list: give me the free sample!

 

 

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